Well, it’s mid December—already!—and that can mean only one thing: ‘Tis the season of the “out of office” reply.

We’re into our fourth year of gathering the top “OoO” messages from New Relic employees. This year, the best have reached new levels of snark and wit. Hopefully, you’ll find some inspiration for writing your own when you finally check out for the rest of the year or take your next vacation.

Don’t miss our previous OoO message coverage!

A real puzzler

Senior Graphic Designer Leah Purvis, didn’t make it easy for us to figure out how to reach her during her vacation. In fact, she made it downright difficult. 

Hi, hi! I’m not here right now. If by some strange phenomenon there is a design emergency, my number is below. The highlighted squares, when solved, will give you the last nine digits. The first digit? It would help to know that I am from the land of crop circles, mister glass, and dead people.

Into the wild

Henry Shapiro, VP of product management, left us wondering if we should send out a search party.

Hi there, 

I’m on vacation, motorcycling through the high deserts of Oregon and likely getting bitten by snakes and/or contracting diphtheria as I am forced to abandon my party and ford the river with just one of several remaining oxen. Should I survive, I will return to the office Wednesday, July 18th. 

Wishing and hoping

Associate Communications Specialist Natalie Wiser desired nothing more this year than to make the cut for this post. Her drive to do so exceeded her excitement for her actual European vacation. She had nothing to worry about, though; including her message was an easy choice for our editors.

Hola,

I am out of office embarking a daring (and delicious) European adventure! I wanted to make a very clever OoO message so I would make the New Relic annual OOO blog post, but I couldn’t think of anything. Instead, I shall list all of the Spanish words I have learned in preparation for this trip:

  • Empanada 
  • Cerveza
  • Vino
  • Queso
  • El menú

…yup, seems like all the essentials to me!

An explosive good time

We were a bit worried when Campaign Manager Shay Loanzon went on a Hawaiian vacation during the  Kilauea volcano eruption. But she was kind enough to address that in her message:

Thanks for reaching out. I am unable to respond to your message right away … because I’m probably on the beach, on a zipline, or in a food coma from all the Hawaiian food.

But don’t worry, I’m far from the erupting volcano and will be able to get back to you as soon as I return.

For any urgent explosions, please contact my manager.

You only live once

It can be hard pull away from the office, but we commend Ali Gerrard, Senior Product Marketing Manager, for making time for herself:

Hey,

Kicking off 2018, I’ve decided it’s time to be #bold and try new things. To that extent, I am currently out of the office on this thing the HR department calls “vacation.” (Don’t worry, I had to Google it, too).

My coworkers have given me explicit instruction that “vacation” requires vacating from email, Slack, and all-things work-related during this respite.

Spriiiiiiiiiiing break!

Senior Technical Marketing Engineer Adam Larson embarked on a Mexican getaway, and he proved that he may never willingly grow up:

Pretending I’m not turning 30 and going to Cabo to live like a teenager on Spring Break. Back on June 1st.

O Canada

In an OoO blog first, Henry Shapiro graced us with a second entry in this year’s round-up. This time around, he couldn’t resist poking fun at our neighbors to the north.

Hi there,

I’m in Canada!

For those of you familiar with Canada, you know as well as I that both electricity and telecommunication are in limited supply here. Your best bet for getting in touch with me is to send a horse-drawn carriage across the border with a note attached to its saddle.

Upon receiving the note, I can send a ceremonial French-Canadian dove to communicate my reply. However, this process (or so I am told) takes anywhere from 4-6 weeks, and by that time both the dove and horse may have perished.

Poutine dreams

And finally, it wouldn’t be our annual OoO blog post if I didn’t close with my own message. Just hours after FutureStack18 in San Francisco, I split for a much-needed break in Montreal. (And yes, despite Henry’s last message, we do love Canada.)

I am currently suffering from post-FutureStack-itis. Symptoms include: Wanderlust and cheese and wine cravings. My doctor has recommended I take some time off in a locale that can cure these two very specific needs, so I am self-medicating in Montreal for a few days.

I pray you don’t suffer my fate. Your thoughts and prayers are feverishly appreciated.  

We know there’s more where these came from! Send us your favorite OoO messages at @NewRelic using #OutofOffice

Virginette is the social media manager at New Relic. View posts by .

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